So I’ve come off of my “I’m-a-princess-Mom-so-there” high which is probably a good thing–for everyone. I’m speaking to some high school students this week which is exciting and I already have a collection of other “events” in the works which is pretty cool. Gotta keep myself busy right? So I’ve been trying to figure out where I wanted to keep my crown when I wasn’t wearing it (Dad told me if I wore it to bed the tiara fairy might come and steal it) I think I found the perfect place on my dresser…
That little dude is a stuffed microbe. More specifically, he’s E coli:D I got him from some friends and he makes my life. I also think he looks pretty good in a crown. Man, am I strange, how many Miss Wheelchair’s can say they keep their crown on top of their stuffed microbe…
You know what else is strange? Dreams. Dreams are strange things, both the sleep related dreams and the what-in-the-world-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life dreams. This post is about both kinds.
One of my countless what-in-the-world-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life dreams deals with running. I was a runner before my injury and had actually just completed a half marathon in April of 2013 and was signed up to do a full marathon the summer I was injured. An SCI changes a lot of things, but it sure as heck hasn’t changed my passion for fitness and marathons. With an SCI, I can still run (and it’s even still called running) it just looks different then how most people run since I use a racing chair. It’s hard to explain what they’re like, so I’ve got this nifty little graphic below to show you what one is.
Yea! Cool right? But a bit more expensive than your average pair of running shoes. I was able to try one that I loaned from a friend for a few months and I thought it was awesome. Difficult, especially because of the dweeby gloves you have to wear that take a lot of getting used to, but still awesome.
With all that being said, I found out this week that I received a grant from the Challenged Athlete Foundation to purchase and have a racing chair custom made for me! AHHHHHHH! Talk about awesome. That marathon dream is certainly not dead now! Granted, I don’t plan on my first race being a marathon, but still, now it’s something I can actually work towards.
So now moving onto the sleeping kind of dreams…they’re kind of a whole pile of nuts. Sometimes you wake up from them and are like, wait, what did I just dream and where in the world did that come from? I always think it’s interesting how little pieces of your real life work their way into your dream life. But you know, they don’t always work their way in right away.
When I was in the hospital, I always had walking dreams. I’d go to sleep and dream that my life was like it always was. When I came home I had walking dreams. I’m pretty sure early on there was even a point in time I looked forward to going to sleep just because there stood a chance I would walk, even if it was just in my dream. I was still walking in all of my dreams in December, but other little things from life with a spinal cord injury started to appear and that’s when I started to worry.
I worried about the appearance of a wheelchair in my “safe zone” of dream land. I worried about losing the one place where I was the person, physically speaking, that I had always known. It terrified me.
But one morning in February I woke up from my very first wheeling dream and I was totally okay. I was oh-kay. It didn’t bother me, it didn’t surprise me, it just….well….was and I went on with my life. I kinda expected when that day did come to break down and not want to get out of bed, but it wasn’t like that at all.
Since then, I’ve had dreams where I’m walking but then pull my wheelchair out of the backpack I’m wearing (talk about compact…) and start pushing. I swear that’s because I can get places faster, but I think it’s also because I really am content where I’m at, meaning, sitting down at 4.5 feet of compacted awesome.
I’m glad my subconscious feels the same about wheeling as my conscious self does and that I’m not kidding myself when I say this injury is just a piece of the puzzle that makes up my life.
It’s pretty cool when pieces of things start coming together.
When you work hard to get to a certain place and your efforts are actually realized.
If you ask me, there isn’t a better time or place then right now to keep moving forward.