Go. Go. Go. That’s life right?
Go. Go. Go. A constant hustle and bustle from one activity to the next. There are appointments to make, tasks to complete, errands to run, and the list just keeps going and going and going. I kind of doubt I’m the only one that feels this way. I mean sure, everyone has a different level of activity before they consider themselves, “busy,” but we all get there.
I’m pretty sure I’m there right now. Awe heck, I live there. It’s probably a bit on the weird side, but I do better with life when I keep myself busy and out of Mom’s hair (well, sort of outta Mom’s hair). For example, I’m taking some business courses (I told you, I love learning) and I’m driving now, in my own vehicle! Boom sauce!
And just for the record, it’s not a van-it’s a hatchback with sliding doors. This way I just chuck my whole chair behind the drivers seat and don’t have to worry about breaking it down in nasty Wisconsin-like weather. But that’s beside the point. I guess I’ve been doing a lot of thinking (scary I know, just in time for Halloween…) and spending more time reflecting on my day-to-day life, beliefs, and my injury/accident.
Going back to that day is challenging to say the least and it brings up a lot of feelings I don’t always know how to deal with. Feelings of loss and confusion and anger and hurt. Feelings I’d much rather shove into the back closet of my brain that doesn’t really ever get opened. But when all of those feelings came to mind, I started to think about other feelings. Like, the physical feelings I never imagined having to live without. I wonder how I would have treated those “last time” moments had I known that’s what they were…
The last time I felt water on my legs and sand between my toes.
Would I have climbed out of the lake as quickly as I did after the dock was in place had I known that would be the last time I would ever feel the waves lap against my legs? Maybe I would have scrunched my toes together a few more times in that shallow water, enjoying the strange texture beneath my feet and sight of movement of my own body I was very much in control of.
The last time I descended a set of stairs.
I have a feeling I would have spent a bit more time savoring those moments. And you know, I don’t think I’m the only one who would want to savor an experience that may never happen again. It’s like that last day of an awesome vacation where you just sit and soak up the sights, smells, and sounds because you don’t know if you’ll ever be in that awesome, relaxing place again.
The last time I felt goosebumps on my legs.
But that really isn’t how it normally works. We don’t usually know when those “last times” are actually happening. We don’t know if and when our lives are going to change forever in ways we never expected or even when our lives are going to come to an end. So what then? So what now?
The last time I walked.
If you ask me, I think it’s a lesson on living in the moment. I don’t mean just living in the moment, I mean really living in the moment. Yea, okay, it’s still the same word, but I bolded it, so it’s different. Living, meaning being completely and totally present in whatever life activity you find yourself a part of. Putting aside your mental to-do list, your worries, and just take in everything God is laying out for you in your life. I don’t have a heck of a lot of regrets in my life, but I do regret not living like that on May 25th.
You know, it’s probably better we don’t know when those “last times” are going to happen. For starters, I don’t think we’d be able to handle it. At least I know I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. But really, I think it makes you appreciate ALL the moments you’re blessed with and not just those “last times.”
So here’s to living in today.
Wait, I mean here’s to living in today