I have a couple of “go to” spots that I tend to gravitate towards when I get around to writing a blog.
1. My bedroom at a desk/table situated by a window that looks out at the side of my neighbor’s house.
2. A random coffee shop located somewhere in the Fox Valley made complete by a caffeinated beverage close at hand.
3. The patio table on the back porch with the fluffy white four-legged canines sunning themselves at my wheels. Of course this one is only when it’s actually warm outside because I’m a bit of a cold weather wuss…
Today I’m at none of those spots because I’m 3+ hours away from all of them.
I’m 3+ hours away, looking out the window of my very own studio apartment on the 51st floor (of a 52 story building) overlooking the hustling and bustling Windy City. Yep, this one is coming to you from my “new digs” in Chicago, IL – my home for the next eight or so years as I attend medical/graduate school and work towards receiving a dual MD PhD degree. I start in a lab this Thursday, as in March 9th… so yea. Those 3 months went a little bit faster than I thought they were going to.
I made the “official” move a little less then a week ago which involved a lot of help from a pretty amazing moving crew.
It’s impressive (and frightening) how much stuff one accumulates within three years (the time since I moved home post-injury to now). Let me just say, If you think you don’t have a lot of stuff buried in hidden places in your bedroom that just seems to appear as you look under and behind things that haven’t been moved for an embarrassingly long time, I promise you — you’re severely mistaken.
Moving is a pretty unique experience. It’s one of those relatively rare times in life where one purposefully puts “Change” into their life. Yes, that’s Change with a capitol “C.”
Change that infuses itself into almost every moment of one’s day. A new city to get used to. A new job or school to attend. A new circle of friends to form. A new place to buy groceries. A new mailing address. A new view when you open your eyes in the morning and stretch while sun streams in your window. That’s a whole lot of new.
You know, new in small doses is one thing, but new in large doses–that’s a whole different kind of animal. There’s an undeniable amount of excitement at all there is to be discovered; the presence of that “new car scent,” if you will. Yet at the same time, there’s a whole lot of unknowns. Where is this dish going to live? Is everything even going to fit in my apartment? How do I get to the library? How do I get anywhere?
Is this city too big for me?
Am I ready for this?
Some of those questions are easier to answer than others. My dishes all have homes. Everything does fit in my apartment. I can get myself to multiple libraries and I actually have myself pretty well orientated in my geographical location to get around (honestly, a lot better than my mother… I told her she wasn’t allowed to leave my apartment without me for fear of her not being able to make it back).
But am I ready for this? Can any person ever really be ready for this kind of a Change?
I don’t really think so.
But that’s how Change operates. Even the kind that you bring upon yourself. You step into an unknown with a prayer thrown up into the air that the ground doesn’t fall out from underneath your feet — or wheels. You approach the unknown with simultaneous curiosity and fear, waiting, sometimes patiently and sometimes, well… not so patiently, for the unknown to morph into the known.
I’ve almost been here for a week and that week has certainly contained an expansive potpourri of emotions. Excitement. Fear. Anticipation. Helplessness. Assurance. Caution. Determination. Gratitude.
I have no reservations when it comes to declaring how blessed I have been throughout my life, especially when it comes to the past three plus years of my life journey, weaving and dodging through good and bad days, laughter and tears. Gratitude for a family willing to support and encourage, push and pull (sometimes literally), and accept all that I am in any and every form, every success or failure, every Change.
You know, this one, this Change… is no different,
regardless of how “ready” or “not ready” I feel.
You can only plan so much when it comes to Change,
the rest you have to take on faith.
So here goes nothin! 🙂